Warning: Ramblings Ahead

Catharsis Thursday??

I have had anxiety since as long as I can remember. Anxiety over different things, my own health, my loved ones’ health, the state of the world, the end of the world, the fate of humanity, intruders, planes crashing into my home… (this list truly could go on for thousands of words, I will spare you).

The depth of my anxiety and how much it affects the way I live my life gets better and gets worse. Sometimes, it almost disappears. Sometimes, it’s way worse…

I’ve found, the busier I keep myself, the more it seems to disappear, if only temporary, which is absolutely is a welcome vacation from the irrational part of my brain.

Lately, I’ve found it’s way worse. I feel the negative energy in the world and it really affects me.

So, in order to keep myself busy… today was declared SUPER DUPER AWESOME THURSDAY!!!

Lunch with Roxy, SuperTarget errands, Dinner at Chipotle (Happy Meals with Star Wars toys for the kids), Pump It Up, then Menchie’s (mmmm…. Menchie’s) . Whoo!!  I bet you got exhausted just reading all this.

But everyday can’t be Super Duper Awesome. I’ve tried many things in the past (and present) to get control over my stupid irrational brain: therapy, psychiatry, exercise, breathing, ignoring it, talking about it… I’ve gotten pretty good at managing it when the anxiety is in the 3-7 range (on a scale from 1-10).

But anxiety levels 8-10 are hard. Especially when people (little people) are depending on you.

I’m currently searching… I need to find… Do people outgrow anxiety?

Maybe I need to schedule a visit with a therapist.

This one looks trustworthy.

I feel better already. <3

<3, Tabi :D
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